What Grieving People Wish You Knew
I have recently started this book, and it is already one of my ALL TIME FAVORITES. Knowing what to do when someone is grieving does not come naturally. It wasn't until I miscarried for the first time and then when my father died that I understood the depth of grief. Before that time and even after, I did not understand fully what someone deep in grief might need, and I am certain that I unintentionally hurt people with my words and actions.
This post will begin a series of posts because I still have more than half of this book to read and there are many gems inside. The author, Nancy Guthrie, has experienced incredible loss in her own life, and her words are wise, thoughtful, and based on her experiences and those of many others.
Chapter 2 describes what we typically say to the grieving and what we could do instead. Here is a beautiful example from the book of how to approach our care for the grieving:
"I will never forget the line of people at the cemetery. They passed by hugging my mother and all seven of my siblings as we put Daddy in the ground. All the words blur together, except that they would be there for us. I remember wondering what they meant. The following spring, after Daddy was buried, one neighbor drove up our mile drive and asked what he could do. Any fences need fixing? Any chores the boys need help with? He just came. Every time he came I remember thinking about that line of people at the graveside. They were loving people who meant well. This man did well. He just came. I don't remember if he ever actually had to do anything. But he came and offered his strength to help." ~ p. 52, Anonymous
This is just one of many suggestions from Chapter 2 that will inspire you to love the grieving differently.
When you were grieving, did someone care for you in an extraordinary way that went beyond words?
What Grieving People Wish You Knew about what really helps (and what really hurts) - by Nancy Guthrie
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