Remember the Anniversary of a Loss
This past week was the 20th anniversary of the death of my brother-in-law's mom. Even though she died before my sister met her, my sister makes a point every year to acknowledge the day they lost her. This year, my sister marked the day by serving her mother-in-law's famous homemade crab soup for dinner.
November 2019 marked five years since my dad died. As the years pass, I don't expect people outside my immediate family to remember, but when they do, it means the world to me. A dear friend surprised me this past year when she remembered the day by designing a flower arrangement for me. The colors brightened my November table during a week that often brings back sad memories mixed with the happy ones. My friend was disappointed she had accidentally chosen closed orange lilies for the arrangement, but I was thrilled. Orange was my dad's favorite color and the biggest, brightest lily opened wide on just the right day.
When those nearest and dearest to you lose a loved one, remembering the anniversary of the loss is the kindest of gestures. These dates aren't necessarily going to stick in your mind, but they are worth writing down in one place or setting a reminder on your phone. A handwritten card or text is a simple way to reach out. This week, I texted my brother-in-law a song that reminded me of his mom. Taking a meal or dropping off tea and cookies is a way to care well for your friends who are remembering a loved one. Find more ideas for how to help a friend face the anniversary of a loved one's death here.
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