We can all agree there are times in life when taking a meal immediately comes to mind. When a new mom is taking care of a baby or when a neighbor is grieving are common examples. There are also times when we might not think to take a meal, but in actuality, a meal would be an encouragement.

I wrote a blog post a few years ago with a list of "other" times when a meal could be helpful and three items on the list were anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. After that blog post, I received many kind emails from people who love someone affected by mental illness or who struggle personally. The people who wrote were glad to be "seen", as mental health struggles are often kept more private.

I recently read an article about how to encourage a friend with mental illness written by Marilyn Hunt, someone who has walked this road herself (Just Between Us, Fall 2020). My favorite resources about caring for others always seem to be written by someone who has experienced a difficult situation personally and offers insight to increase my compassion.

In her article, Marilyn points out that if a friend mentions her mental health issues to you, it's a gift. Women are often ashamed and keep this struggle hidden, so when this topic is offered freely, you have an opportunity to reach out in a helpful way.

Here are a few tips from Marilyn to help you care for your friend:

None of us are immune from mental health challenges and they may come upon us at different stages of life. One woman might enjoy the newborn stage while another can have postpartum depression. One woman might have an easy transition to menopause while another might struggle with anxiety for several years preceding that time. Caring for aging parents may bring on a never before experienced depression or it may deepen a battle that has been constant. Not one of us knows for certain if or when we may struggle. Let's take away the shame and replace it with honest conversation and support for one another when these times come.

I love how Marilyn ends her article by saying whether the friendship is casual or close, it's a privilege to have friendships and to grow in our understanding of others through them. It's okay if you don't do it perfectly or always say just the right thing; your desire to care may make both of your lives more beautiful.

Photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez